


sometimes a shadow wins.

by cp035



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 06:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1500761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cp035/pseuds/cp035
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As much as Charlie hates to admit it, it's good to know Meryl's got his back, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sometimes a shadow wins.

**Author's Note:**

> A little twist on all the protective!Charlie fics out there. I might leave this as a oneshot or add other oneshots on to this fic with the theme of Meryl being the one who looks after Charlie. This fic was requested on Tumblr and is total fanfiction; especially because ahem- Charlie danced to Happy, I mean, this would never happen in real life. 
> 
> Still, gotta give the people what they want! 
> 
> Warning for swearing, but it's otherwise a nice, somewhat angsty, story.

 

 "-so they go into the rotational lift, and the girl just started to spew. There was vomit _everywhere_!"

 

"Charlie!", Meryl scolded, cuffing her partner lightly on the shoulder. "That's so gross. Why would you them that?"

 

They were spread out on the floor of Charlie and Sharna's practice studio, along with Maks, enjoying an improvised picnic lunch of salad, cereal bars, chicken sandwiches and vending machine juice boxes over their break. Sharna had been the one to ask what the most "Blades of Glory"-like moment of their skating careers had been, and apparently, Charlie just had to tell their dance partners about the one time a girl at the Pike Peaks Classic Dance Challenge had gotten sick from the hotel food and chosen her free dance to tell the whole world the entire city was a hotbed of food poisoning. Even almost twenty years later, it was still one of Meryl's worst nightmares, although now, she could more readily appreciate how the whole thing had been kind of hilarious.

 

"Well, blood, sweat, tears, and vomit. Maks, I think we have to admit that ice dance is a real sport now!", Sharna quipped.

 

They all laughed, and Charlie threw his arm over Meryl's shoulder. His smile was infectious as always and he'd taken to LA like a fish tossed into the ocean and he'd even gotten Sharna to find him surfing lessons during their downtime. He'd lately picked up an obsession with unconventional home furnishings that Meryl could tell she wasn't going to regret once they landed back in Michigan and she had to outfit her house for the rest of her life. Charlie probably learned more about color matching from picking out his favorite wallpapers than he had in years of trying to get him to understand their costumes had to match.

 

"And wardrobe malfunctions! Charlie just doesn't want to tell you about the time his pants _ripped_ right in front of the judges panel at Regionals in oh…let's say '02? I think one of the judges might have been a superhero fan, though, because-"

 

Charlie clapped a hand over Meryl's mouth. " _Lies!_ Everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie!"

 

They were laughing again, and even Charlie seemed to be having a good time in spite of his younger self.

 

The food disappeared quickly after, and soon, they were ready to get back to work. Meryl and Maks had a few kinks to work out in their routine, but it was mostly locked in while Sharna and Charlie had a little more to work on.

 

Namely, _everything._

Last week's top score, Charlie soon realized, was a double-edged sword. Sure, it was good and probably would keep him safe for another week, but it came with its own load of expectations. He couldn't mess up. He couldn't give anyone any more of a reason to think he deserved anything less, or else someone would start those stupid rumors that the whole thing was rigged again, and anything he did always came back on Meryl. He couldn't be the one to ruin all of it for her, too.

 

The steps, which should have been simple, turned into stumbling blocks every time he took a look in the mirror and realized they were ever so slightly off. People at home wouldn't ever  notice it, but if he was supposed to get all 10's this week, every little bit mattered.

 

Not that he'd ever tell Sharna. For her, he'd be all smiles. That's what she expected out of him, and he didn't want his dance  partner of all people to think he was weak, or pass that on to oh- all of America. He had no idea why she was still putting up  with his mistakes. Maybe she wasn't, and maybe she got together with all the other pro dancers after practice and laughed at him and talked about how terrible her luck was between Andy Dick and that basketball player and that _idiot_ Charlie White.

 

Telling Meryl was out of the question, too. She had no idea (unless she knew everything, and was just keeping her mouth shut, which was terrifying) that he'd barely slept the night before, coming off the bus from Stars on Ice thinking up every possible way that he and Sharna's dance would and could go wrong. After dreaming that DJ, his dog, had somehow replaced the whole judging panel and gave them straight zeroes, he'd given up on sleep and paced his hotel room, before going downstairs and drinking six straight cups of lobby coffee.

 

It absolutely wasn't healthy.

 

She'd kill him if she found out _it_ was still going on.

 

Charlie had always been naturally imaginative and his perfectionist streak had peaked a few years ago, when he would work himself into borderline nervous breakdowns at the boards while he and Meryl's names were called to take the ice. He wouldn't sleep, and spent most of their travel tournaments locked in his hotel room, telling his mother he had so much homework that he just couldn't join them out sightseeing when really, he was just busy hating himself- for the little mistakes in their step sequence, for falling on a twizzle, for the disappointed look in Meryl's eyes after they left the Kiss and Cry with Scott and Tessa in first place.

 

She thought it was her fault, and she needed to work harder, and he knew it was a lie. He was the weaker one in the partnership, and the entire _world_ probably knew it. 

 

He hadn't meant for Meryl to find out, but she was suspicious the entire Grand Prix season and finally cornered him on New Year's day, at her birthday brunch, no less. 

 

She apologized over and over, and held him as best someone who was a foot shorter could. They were at her house, in her childhood bedroom, tangled together in her bed. 

 

"It'll be okay, Charlie. I'm going to make sure it's okay.", she had whispered, and for the most part, she had kept that promise.

 

Any time something big was coming up, whether it was skating or school, or God forbid- birthdays and anniversaries, Meryl happily supplied Charlie with notes and checklists so he knew what to do, and when to do it, and didn't stress out imagining the worst anymore. She'd leave them on encouraging stationary that said things like _"You've got this!"_ and _"Hello Sunshine!"_

 

Sure, their arrangement should have been embarrassing, but Charlie had long ago accepted he needed it. Help wasn't bad, and besides, he hadn't needed too much for the past couple of years or so, when that gold medal dream had gotten closer and closer and it finally happened. 

 

He was an Olympic champion now. He could handle _anything._

 

_Right?_

 

Charlie caught his own gaze in the mirror and glared at himself as he lowered Sharna into a deep dip.

 

_Stop it. Just stop it._

 

He didn't stop it. Instead, he told Sharna he really needed to take a bathroom break and ran into the men's room, shutting himself in a stall and trying to breathe. He'd definitely taken his asthma meds in the morning, and this didn't feel like that kind of attack.

 

_Oh, shit._

 

_Shit._

 

Meryl was in her practice, and he'd left his phone with the rest of his things in the studio. Calling his Mom (like this could even _get_ any more embarrassing) was out of the question. So, he had two choices. Wait it out and hope he didn't start crying or further humiliating himself, or just tell Sharna he was a real life mess  and hope that she'd keep his secret.

 

" _Charlie?_ "

 

Sharna had burst through the door, and he could see her bare feet and her skirt swishing through the space at the bottom of the stall.

 

"Are you alright in there? You've been in here forever! Was it those damn sandwiches or-"

 

"What are you doing in the men's room?", Charlie forced out.

 

"Well, we booked out the whole studio, it's not like anyone else is going to be in here, except Maks, who you're clearly not."

 

"Just…give me a minute."

 

"Did you get sick, dear?", she asked, and Charlie almost felt sorry for the genuine concern in her voice.

 

"Just go, okay? _Please._ "

 

Sharna never answered, and he just hoped she left. Maybe she would think he was a diva or something now, but that wasn't all that bad, at least. Charlie felt himself start to calm down and unlocked the door, carefully pushing it open. He would look halfway presentable if he washed his face, and maybe passed off a stupid story about how he was pretty sure he'd gotten some kind of food poisoning from salad dressing.

 

"Just be happy I didn't throw up.", he murmured to himself.

 

"You know, performance anxiety isn't all that abnormal, Charlie."

 

Sharna was perched on top of the sink counter, swinging her feet.

 

"You've seen the show before, right? Everyone has a hard time at least once. Between this and Stars on Ice, don't feel bad about it."

 

He raked a hand through his hair and shifted uncomfortably. _No way out of this one, you idiot,_ he thought.

 

"It always happens to the girls.", he said with a defeated sigh. "Look, I know you expected a better partner and  I'm so sorry about this."

 

Sharna just shook her head and jumped from the counter. "Are you sure you've seen the show before? You're my favorite partner yet!", she chuckled, wrapping her arms around him. The hug felt oddly foreign, even though Sharna was a hugger and usually greeted him by jumping into his arms. It felt like it should have been Meryl, but he was still too tired to feel guilty.

 

_Oh, my God. What did I do?_

 

"I'm not…", Charlie groaned inwardly. "I'm usually worse. I'm such a _fucking_ girl with this shit."

 

"You'd be surprised. You know what, Charlie? Having feelings isn't the worst thing you could do. In fact-", she paused to untangle them from the hug, and rested her hand on his shoulder. "If you were one of those idiots who insist that men never cry, you wouldn't be half as good an actor, and I don't think you'd have that gold medal. It really is alright, dear."

 

"Meryl's going to kill me."

 

"Well, I don't think so. But I think it's going to feel better if she knows.", said Sharna. "We might want to practice first, though. Just in case she does!"

 

She was grinning and Charlie felt he should return it with a smile. "Okay."

 

Long story short, she didn't kill him. She looked like she would, and paced the carpet of his hotel room with a worried look on her face, blowing out her breaths through pursed lips.

 

She thought they'd crossed this bridge, too- a long time ago.

 

But, eventually, she folded herself into his chest and let her arms rest around his shoulders. There wasn't much more that could be said about it all, and Charlie gratefully agreed.

 

_We'll get 'em tomorrow._

 

The next day, before she skipped off (just down the hall was an _awful_ long way away) to practice with Maks, Meryl pressed a folded business card into Charlie's hand. If anyone was watching, it would look like she was just giving him and encouraging little squeeze- as partners did.

 

Instead, when he unwrapped the paper, he found Meryl had scrawled a little note inside.

 

_Maks says this guy the best sports psych in LA- very private AND our insurance covers him! Yay! Please give him a call when we're there, for me, okay?  We're still a team (we'll ALWAYS be a team!) and I wouldn't feel good BEATING YOU unless I knew you were at 100%. YOU CAN DO IT! :)_

_Love, Meryl._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it wasn't too unrealistic. If you'd like to see more, please comment! I have a few M/C fics that I meant to post a really long time ago!


End file.
